InnoSense

Wednesday, Jan. 05, 2005 @ 11:38 a.m.

Classes start tomorrow. Yikes. Today is the last day of the winter break. Me sad. I bought a game yesterday -- "Fable". It's real interesting, kind of like a non-linear RPG. Your actions determines your appearance and people's reactions towards you years down the line. Sheer genius.

Many years ago, I used to collect comics and action figures (which I would leave unopened for value), and leisure time was all about video games. Back then, I used to fervently read 2 magazines, mainly for their price guides at the back. One was all about comics, and the other one was all about action figures. The price guide determined if my collection went up in value or not. Kinda like the stock market, but more colorful and fun. The preceding pages to those guides were filled with articles about other upcoming releases, and lots of funny stuff.

I used to envy the people who worked with those magazines. The action figure magazine, in particular. Every month, they'd have this section where they make this "photo comic", where they use action figures to play out really quite hilarious strips. It seemed like a job that I would love... imagine getting paid to play with all these cool action figures and writing about it!

And I didn't mean "play" as in a toddler would play with his Lego set. Action figures these days aren't really toys in my opinion. They're works of art. The amount of detail that goes into those pieces of plastic really takes them out of the "childish playthings" category. I didn't want to put action figure A to "fight" against action figure B. I wanted to collect them like an art collector collects sculptures and paintings.

How I longed to work for one of those magazines. It seemed like all play that happened to also count as work. I had no idea how much those people made, but I didn't care. I just wanted to do what I enjoyed and get paid for it.

I walked past a comic store just the other day, and just for old time's sake, I walked in and browsed around. There were shelves full of action figures and comics, but even more noticeable was that shop's "prize shelf". That's where the most valuable items were on display, in public view, but out of public reach. And sitting right there were a few action figures I had (and still have), as well as quite a few comics, including rare #1 issues, which was quite a thrill to see. But as I walked around the rest of the store, it later occured to me that I was now too far detached to appreciate anything else. I'd stopped collecting comics and action figures for years, and almost everything is unfamiliar to me now.

I couldn't help it but feel a little sad. Those carefree days of my childhood are long gone, never to return. All that remains are memories that are kept on a "prize shelf" in my head... in view, but out of reach.

I still play video games occasionally (I'm not that old yet), but it's just different now. With the childhood innocence that I used to have, it was all about beating the big bad guy in the game, and it was all about working at a job that brought me satisfaction, and being paid peanuts was not even a factor. Today, I semi-escape in the world of the video game, but all around this world are windows that look out into the real world. All the war and disaster aren't just bound to the game world, it's outside as well. As such, it's not so much as an escape anymore. And working cannot realistically be all about job satisfaction; you gotta feed yourself and pay the rent, and all the "fun" jobs seem to pay only peanuts.

I only wish that I could lock myself into that "innocent room" in my head from time to time. To really enjoy and escape from the real world, oblivious to all its imminent consequences. Just from time to time, at moments when the world around us is just too much to bear.

Which is coming around more and more frequently these days, unfortunately.

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