Arrivederci

Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008 @ 3:08 a.m.

I've been very lazy. I've had so many things happening over the past couple months, but I've neglected to record them on here, just because I'd been too lazy too. But anyhoo...

Tonight I went to my friend Daniel's arrivederci party. He's leaving for Italy for three months this coming Wednesday, and this weekend is his last weekend before his departure. I'm a West Hollywood kind of guy, and I rarely venture out beyond those boundaries, but I do it when there's a good reason to. Daniel is New Guy's best friend, and that's how we met (though, since we're not going out anymore, I should probably change New Guy's nickname to Mess. In fact, I think I just did! Whoo!) But anyway, over the past couple of months, I've become closer friends with Daniel than Mess. He's just a really great and cool guy, and a hell lot of fun to be around.

Through the Mess/Daniel connection, I've also gotten to know a few other close friends of theirs, and I saw them all tonight. They really are a great bunch of people to be friends with.

I don't know what it was, but among those friends, I had three of them ask me the same question (independently of each other tonight): "How come you're single?". All three times, I jokingly wrapped my arms around the empty space next to me, and went "Here's my boyfriend, Mr. Invisible! Isn't he hot?". I may laugh it off, but I ask myself that very same question all the time.

My close friends have all been very kind to me, and have made it their business to tell me that I'm actually a bit of a good catch. I shudder to say that of myself... in fact, I cringe whenever I have to say anything positive about myself. But the fact is, I do go to HUGE lengths to be the best person that I can be, so maybe that contributes to the definition of a "good catch". Yet, I don't know why I can't seem to find that someone to be with.

I cycle between "I am content being on my own" and "I wish I was with someone" about 500,000 times every single day. I go out a lot, and meet a lot of people on an almost daily basis. But it never fails: The people I have interest in never feel the same way, and the people who do indicate interest in me, I don't feel the same. I don't know why, but it's always a case of mismatch every single time. I'm actually starting to get sick and tired of it.

I don't really have a point. I'm just ranting. Or lamenting, if you will. But tonight was all about Daniel, so I was actually glad to be away from the West Hollywood environment for a night. It was refreshing to be reminded of the fact that it's okay to go out for your friends instead of going "fishing" for potential mates. After all, most of my friends have lasted longer than most of my relationships. At the end of the day, your good friends are the ones who will stick by you no matter what.

I'm really gonna miss Daniel. I have had so much fun talking to and hanging out with him, and although he will be the last person to admit it, he has such a big heart. Three months isn't that long of a time, so I'm sure it'll go by in the blink of an eye.

Have a great trip, pal. It has truly been my privilege to have been able to call you my friend. Snog a couple of hot Italian guys for me, will ya? ;-)

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