First crap of 2008

Wednesday, Jan. 02, 2008 @ 7:44 p.m.

Good riddance, 2007. Helloooo, 2008! Hopefully, you'll be better to me than that previous bastard was. Oh please please PLEASE be better to me.

I rang the new year in at Trunks with a couple of my girl friends. It was CROWDED as hell, and extremely festive. Everybody was in good spirits, and I had an AWESOME time.

But today's only the second day of 2008, and already I've received news that put me in a bit of a funk. Get this: French Fitch is getting MARRIED.

Yes, married. To that guy he cheated on me with a year ago. They've been together for not even a third of the time that we were together, and already they're getting married.

The kicker? When we were together, French Fitch would give me crap about my dreams of marriage. He said that he didn't believe in marriage, that it really doesn't work, and it's totally pointless. He also said that gay couples should not have children, because the children will suffer from all the abuse they face from friends/society just from having gay parents. He was in the closet then, and whenever his family visited, I had to assume the role of a roommate... hiding around and pretending all the time.

NOW, he's completely changed his tune. He's getting married in a romantic ceremony in Paris. He's out to his entire family, and there's no more hiding. He wants to have children and raise a family.

Somehow, our break up started a whole chain of events that has completely changed him around to appreciate all the things I dreamed of when we were together. All packed up into a happy little package, delivered right into the hands of that idiot that he cheated on me with. Once again... I gave everything, I got nothing. He completely destroyed me, and he ends up with everything. Even worse, he ends up with the fulfillment of my dreams.

And did I mention that the happily married couple will be living in the house that I designed, helped pay for, and helped furnish... and most importantly, a substantial part of which is still on my credit cards?

And why did he feel the need to tell me about his marital plans? Did he honestly expect me to give him my blessing? It started with a really innocent online chat about mundane things this morning. Then he went, "I have an announcement to make", followed by "We're getting married in August".

I just went "Wow... I don't know what to say." I brought up the point about him giving me crap about my dreams of getting married to another guy, and all he could say was, "I've changed".

I hope he wasn't expecting me to say things like "Congratulations" or "I'm so happy for you". Because I would sooner wish the plague on them before I'd say these things to them and actually mean it.

What I really wanted to say to him was, "You don't deserve this. You don't deserve this at all." But of course, being the "nice" person that I still am (to my own detriment), I held myself back.

He really doesn't deserve this. I gave him everything, but he completely destroyed me. Yet he keeps getting EVERYTHING, and I keep getting crapped on. My credit is now completely ruined because of him. I can forget about ever owning a house, or even applying for credit cards for the next seven years at least. I am fifteen thousand dollars in debt.

And he walks away with my dreams.

I am seriously pissed off. Once again, more proof that there is no such thing as universal balance or divine justice or karma.

I sure hope 2008 isn't going to be a continuation of the nightmare that was 2007.

Please, 2008... please, for once... give me something that I deserve.

Please give me a reason to continue making the effort to be the best person that I can possibly be.

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First crap of 2008