Pete

Saturday, Jun. 16, 2007 @ 2:07 a.m.

So a lot has happened since last week (prior to my bad sushi fiasco)... too much to fit in one single entry. Things can generally be separated into two story lines though, so I'm gonna write about one now, and the other one later.

So there's this guy I shall name Pete. Pete is a model/actor. So yeah, he's quite a gorgeous hunk of man. I met him at Trunks when I first started pseudo-dating Chris, and he's always been quite flirtatious with me. Later, I found out that he had a boyfriend of nine months, so I wondered why he was so flirty with me. He's just a naturally flirty guy, but I just felt that he REALLY flirted with me, especially after he's had a couple of drinks.

Anyway, we finally had a decent conversation last Wednesday (June 6th) and he told me that he liked me, and that we were gonna be best friends (though we'd only exchanged a few words over a month - go figure). I thought, gee, I'm happy to make a new friend, so we made plans to watch the movie Once the next day. We did, and we've hung out pretty much every day ever since (his boyfriend works quite a bit). But I'm getting ahead of the story.

So Friday was the start of Gay Pride Weekend in Los Angeles (more like West Hollywood, really). Lots of people were out, and there was a certain party mood in the air. Pete usually doesn't go out to the bars till around midnight, but because it felt like a holiday, I convinced him to come out at around 10:30pm. We got REALLY drunk... but I think he got a lot more drunk than I did (He's a pretty big guy, but surprisingly light-weighted when it comes to alcohol). He started to tell me that he would totally go after me if he didn't have a boyfriend. There was some major flirting going on. I took it as a huge compliment, but didn't think any much more of it. Don't get me wrong, he's absolutely gorgeous and a really cool guy, and I would definitely have pursued things with him if he was single. But since he wasn't, and I wouldn't want to wish upon anybody what French Fitch did to me, I concentrated on building a purely platonic friendship. I'm no home wrecker.

At the end of the night, I offered to drive him to his boyfriend's apartment right up the street. I don't really remember what exactly happened, but we chatted in my car for quite a bit before I even started my engine. He leaned in and kissed me. Slipped his tongue into my mouth. It drove me crazy, but after two seconds, my conscience kicked in and I pulled back, repeating his boyfriend's name over and over again. I think that jolted him to his senses, and we stopped. I could see the guilt of "Oh my gawd, what have I done!?" on his face. We talked about it a little bit more. He asked me if he should break up with his boyfriend. I told him that I cannot make that decision for him, and he had to ask himself what he wants. I remember at one point, he actually asked me to take him home with me and not be concerned about his boyfriend. Now, I could have been the selfish evil bastard and taken advantage of the situation, but I didn't. I'm just not that sort of person... not sure if that's a good thing or not.

But anyway, after a little bit more talking, I finally drove him to his boyfriend's driveway. After he got out of my car, I realized that he'd left his pack of cigarettes in my car. I called out to him and waved the pack out of my window. He walked back to retrieve it... and he kissed me again. Like before, I withdrew (reluctantly), said goodnight, and he walked back to his boyfriend's apartment.

The whole thing was just... very weird. I didn't feel good during my drive home. There was quite a bit of guilt, but at the same time, I argued to myself that since I was single, I didn't do anything wrong. I did not initiate the kiss, nor did I initiate the flirting. It was all him. But then again... even though I didn't know his boyfriend personally, it wasn't a right thing to do to him. I thought that that was gonna be the last time that I would hear from Pete, 'cos he'd probably realize what had happened after he sobered up, things probably would have gotten weird between us, and we probably wouldn't even have been able to be friends.

He called me the next morning, though. The previous evening was a drunken blur to him, but after dancing around the elephant in the room for a bit, he finally asked me: "We kissed, didn't we?". I told him the truth. He told me that he had never even so much as kissed another guy while he was in a relationship, and that he was feeling tremendously guilty. He also asked if things between us were gonna be okay. I told him that things were completely fine... we just won't speak of what had happened the previous night, and nobody will know. I would never rat him out.

Since then, we'd pretty much hung out for at least a bit every day, but things were strictly platonic. We did talk about that incident a few times, though... but I made it clear to him that as attracted as I am to him, things between us can never go that dangerously close again. He agreed.

So it's quite an interesting dynamic between us... we're both clearly attracted to each other, but things can never be. I only thought this kind of tension existed in the movies. As far as I'm concerned however, I can separate my attraction to him from our friendship. I've had attractive friends before, and this would just be like another one of them.

Who knows how things down the road may turn out... but I'm not holding out any expectations at all. Since we've been hanging out, I've gotten out of the house and done something every day... watch a movie, go shopping, have lunch, etc... which was what I needed. I was staying at home bored out of my mind wayyy too much. So I'm thinking that this may be a good thing for me.

So that's the Pete storyline. Stay tuned for the Chris storyline that happened concurrently. Yep, quite a bit of drama in my life lately. At least it ain't boring, and at least I haven't been spending the past week still moping over how French Fitch screwed me over.

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