Take That, Spice Girls!

Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006 @ 1:11 p.m.

This is old news in Europe, but it's complete news to me living in the USA: Take That - arguably the most successful British boy band since the Beatles - are going on a reunion tour this month, 10 years after they broke up.

More disturbing than the fact that I'm actually excited by this news is that 10 whole years have passed. I'll admit it - I was a fan back then. They didn't quite make it to the US market - their one and only song that had a US release was 'Back for Good' (which was a #1 hit) - but I followed them anyway through imported CD's. I even went to one of their concerts... it was the last tour they did (after Robbie Williams split) before the group itself split. Being the sentimental dork that I am, after reading about their reunion tour, I dug out all their old CD's and listened to all their songs again. It's amazing how music can take you back in time... I recalled the life I was living at that time, and how absolutely crazy I was about Gary Barlow. Anyway, tickets for their reunion tour got completely sold out within 6 hours... just as you thought they couldn't have been bigger has-beens. Unfortunately, all their tour venues are in the UK and Scotland... and I don't think they'll be travelling to the US anytime in the future, seeing that not many Americans have even heard of them. Grrr. It's also an extremely smart move - financially - for them to do this tour. With the exception of Robbie Williams, none of the members have really had any successes surpassing that of when they were Take That, and it's awfully clever of them to cash in on that while they still can, even if it's 10 years later.

Which brings me to another British group that I was (sadly) a fanatic of: The Spice Girls. It's now been 10 years since their debut, and there were talks of them doing a 10th anniversary reunion tour last year. It started out so promising at first - even Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell was interested in the tour. Alas, apparently the girls' catty ways got in the way of the financially-wise parts of their brains. Scary Spice refused to leave LA to embark on the tour because she was 'busy with her solo project'. Look girlie, it's been 10 years. You've released a few albums, ALL of which flopped big-time. Get the hint: You're crap without the Spice Girls. If even a collaboration with Missy Elliott can't get you in the spotlight, NOTHING will.

More recently, Sporty Spice and Posh Spice also both expressed that they were no longer interested in the reunion tour, saying that while they are proud of everything they did in the past, they have to concentrate on their future careers. Maybe Posh is all set for the rest of her life, being Mrs. David Beckham and all, but Sporty is just plain STUPID. Poor Baby Spice and Ginger "My Cup Runneth Over" Spice - I guess no big bucks for you.

Or maybe I'm just bitter 'cos I won't get to see the Spice Girls in concert again. Which is thoroughly disturbing... I've regressed to a prepubescent 14-year-old.

Whatever. The Spice Girls are dumb and have cooties.

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Take That, Spice Girls!