Bohemian Curry

Friday, Mar. 04, 2005 @ 10:12 p.m.

Yeaahhh Friday!!! I am sooo glad the weekend's here. Too bad it's raining (STILL). Gawd, when will this friggin' rain finally stuff it?!?

Anyway, we had Indian take-out tonight. And it never fails - after a delectable feast of Indian food, my stomach always gets upset. I wonder why that is? Is curry such a potent laxative? Why doesn't it affect Indians, then? I don't see them taking a crap after every meal. But then again, I've never been to India, so I wouldn't know. Kinda funny how curry goes in your mouth, and curry comes out your ass right after. Doesn't look as though any digestion has happened, the stuff still looks the same.

Have I grossed everyone out yet? HAHAH!!!

Anyway, I decided to do a search on Google to find out why curry makes me go doo-doo ('cos I'm just so educational that way), but instead of anything really useful, I came across this hilarious song parody that I just had to share with everyone. Yes, all 3 of you out there who read this page. And so, without further ado, I bid you all to enjoy...

Bohemian Curry
Sung to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

Is this a Bhuna?
Or is this a Jalfrezi?
Mixed up my order,
They all look the same to me

Open your gob,
Just take a forkful and seeee...
I'm just a poor boy,
Need something real cheap to eat...

Because I'm stoney broke,
Not a bean.
Don't remember
The menu I've seen,
Korma, Saag or Madras
Doesn't really matter to me...

To me...

(Piano bit)

Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle, now he's dead
Naan-aa, dinner had just begun
But now I've gone and crapped it all away

Naan-aa, oo-oo-oo-ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
Seen nothin' yet, just see the loo tomorrow
Curry on, curry on,
'Cos nothing really madras

Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers down my spine
Rectum's aching all the time
Goodbye, every bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo

Naan-aa, oo-oo-oo-ooo
This dopiaza's mild
Sometimes I wish we'd never come here at all...

(guitar solo)

I see a little chicken tikka on the side
Rogan josh, rogan josh
Pass the chutney made of mango
Vindaloo does nicely,
Very very spicy, me!

Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani and a naan
Vindaloo-oo-oo-ooo

I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to a lavatory
Then stand well back, 'cos this loo is quarantined

Here it comes
There it goes
Technicolor yawn
I chunder -
NO!
It's coming up again
(There it goes!) I chunder
It's coming up again
(There it goes!) I chunder
It's coming up again (up again!)
Coming up again (up again!)
Coming up again - oh-oh-oh!
No! No! No! No! No! No! NO!
I'm on my knees, I'm on my knees
I'm on my knees (Oh there he goes)
This vindaloo is about to burst my guts
Poor me, poor me, poor meeeeee!

(headbanging guitar break)

So you think you can chunder and it's all right?
So you want to scoff curry and lager all night?
Oh maybe, now you'll puke like a baby,
Just get it out, just get it right out of here

(build up to big finish)

Korma, saag or bhuna,
Balti, naan, bhaji
Nothin' really madras
Nothin' really madras to me...

Any way my wind blows...

(Gong finale)

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Bohemian Curry