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Wake me up before you go go

Wednesday, Jun. 30, 2004 @ 1:46 p.m.

I had the most bizarre dream early this morning. In fact, I don't think I've had a stranger dream in my entire life.

So I was walking around in some city somewhere, and it was under attack by two giant robots. I was hiding behind a pillar, and I took a peek to see that one of the giant robots was "Ring Man" from a very old Mega Man game way back in the age of Nintendo. Instead of being amused, I found myself scared shitless. At one point, Ring Man fired a huge giant ring (it kinda looked like a big gold wedding band), and it may sound hilarious now, but I was actually terrified. I'm not sure why. But Superman came into the picture and kicked the giant scary ring away. (I told you it was bizarre.)

But that's not all... I found myself fleeing with a few other strangers to this house owned by an old woman. It was kinda haunted, and looked very Hogwarts-ish. I saw human-shaped shadows walking along the walls, but there was nobody there to cast the shadows. There were many sculptures and busts around too, and they were all alive and moving. I remember at one point, I was at a sink washing my hands, and the soap dispenser had a carving of a face on it, and that face talked to me. I splashed water on it and ran away.

But here comes the most disturbing part... there was a wounded person that was carried into the house on a stretcher, and although there was a gaping wound on his lower leg, everyone behaved as though the only way for him to survive was to -- prepare to be grossed out -- rip his scrotum out. Which he did, right in front of everyone. But instead of blood and gory stuff spilling out, there was confetti. Glittery, sparkling confetti.

And there was this tiny little cat the size of a mouse that was striped like a tiger. It was chasing me all over the place, and occasionally, it turned into a bunch of slimey, slithery snakes. At one point, I remember being cornered by the mouse/cat/tiger thing, and since it wasn't in its bunch-of-snakes form, I grabbed it. At that instant, it morphed into my very own Smelly Cat. But I was so freaked out, I just threw Smelly Cat out the window. Oops.

I was awakened at that point by a phonecall from a darn telemarketer. Normally, I HATE being woken up by telemarketers, but today was an exception. It was too bizarre, even for a dream... and I was actually relieved to be awakened. So instead of hanging up rudely, which I usually do, I talked to the telemarketer nicely. It was some unheard-of organization asking for donations.

Being grateful to have been stirred from that nightmare, I offered to donate $100. But towards the end of the call, before I finished giving them my street address, I unplugged the phone. Whoops, sorry, got cut off!

What, did ya think I'm stupid or something?

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