Navigate

Contact

Credits

Urban Cadence

Live coverage of stupidity

Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2004 @ 10:19 a.m.

You know what they should do here in LA? They should start a cable channel dedicated just to highway chases.

I was watching the news last night and there was a highway chase going on (and that happens A LOT). Everytime I see one, it bugs the shit outta me. Something is news-worthy when it's an exceptional, unusual situation... not when it happens every week. I mean, these chase coverages are just plain stupid. The entire newscast freezes and just focuses on a stupid car with an idiot driver thinking he can outrun the cops and a news chopper with a night sun shining on him. And every newscast going on at that same time shows the same thing.

I was watching KTLA 5 last night, and Hal Fishman was making the most idiotic commentaries during the chase coverage. He was asking this guy who was on the chopper tracking the car some questions.

Hal: "What color do you think the car is?"

Chopper Guy: "Uhh, I believe it's a dark color, between medium brown and black. Possibly dark brown."

What is this, first grade name-the-color? Are you blind or something? And why the hell would we care if the color of the gawddamn car is 'brown' or 'maroon with a slight tinge of auburn'? What, light-colored cars make the freeway chases less dangerous??

And then the car made a sharp swerve between two cars and nearly hit them.

Hal: "Was that a dangerous move?"

Nooo, a sharp, sudden turn that nearly made contact with two cars? That's chickenshit! Not dangerous at all! People do it all the time!

And finally, the suspect was cornered by cops, stopped the car on the road shoulder, and ran for his life. The camera tracked him as he ran under a bridge and stayed there.

Hal: "Is the man under the bridge?"

Nooo, he ran under the bridge, and then teleported himself to Never Never Land. You'll never find him now, muahaha!

As if it's not enough that they waste time covering these stupid chases... these daft commentaries are just beyond belief. "We have news tonight that 200 people died in... ohhh, wait, there's a highway chase going on! We're gonna bring it to you LIVE! Nevermind the 200 dead people and the rest of the major developments around the world, this chase is more important!"

Geez.

PreviousNext

Recent Entries

Yoohoo... - Wednesday, Dec. 23, 2009
The Prude - Saturday, Aug. 01, 2009
Filler/Teaser - Friday, Jul. 31, 2009
Rest in peace, Squeaky... - Sunday, Jun. 21, 2009
California - where discrimination is legal! - Tuesday, May. 26, 2009