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Urban Cadence

Leopard spots do change

Friday, Mar. 05, 2004 @ 2:13 a.m.

So I just came back from meeting up with Tarzan... if you can even call it that.

Granted, I haven't been closely in touch with him ever since French Fitch came into the picture. But I never thought that he would have changed so much in just a few months. It's like I don't even know him anymore.

First, we went to The Abbey, and I wanted to buy him a few drinks, and hopefully talk and catch up, since this was possibly going to be the last time I was seeing him. BUT he had the attention span of a housefly. I tried to talk to him seriously, but instead of looking at me while I was talking, his eyes were bolting around the entire place, checking out every single guy around. At certain points, I just stopped talking mid-sentence, and he didn't even notice that I'd been talking.

And he's become a big drug-head. He'd been tweaking for the past few months, and I found out that he was actually on E. Whoopee.

At this one point, I was telling him how sad I was because he's leaving so suddenly and that we haven't had the chance to really talk like we used to... but he was eyeing some guy, who eventually came over to talk to him. So there I was, feeling like such an insignificant piece of furniture, sitting there with my drink, while he was flirting with that guy. This happened several times with other people. I tried not to get pissed off because this was his last night in LA, but well... after the first ten times, it really starts getting to you.

Still, pissed off as I was, I managed to remain calm. But around 1 a.m., he wanted to go to another club that I really didn't want to go to. But see, he didn't have a wheel man, and needed me to ferry him there. Sweet, I was now a transportation convenience for him.

So I took him to that club, and expressed my desire to leave. Tarzan insisted that I went in with him for 5 minutes, until he met people he knew because he didn't want to appear alone.

GREAT, I was now a social gimmick. I tried all night to commemorate our friendship, but all he cared about was cruising for guys and drugs. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. I stayed for 5 minutes, and then I said my final farewell and good wishes to him.

And THEN, he became so warm all of a sudden, hugging me and telling me that I'd been such a great friend to him, and how he promised to keep in touch. I was sorry that he had to have the help of E to say those things, but I was seriously pissed off at that point. So I just gave him a quick hug and left.

So yeah, it was a really weird evening. He had apparently become a totally different person over the past few months, and well... I just never expected that. I was feeling all sentimental at first, but now all I feel is irritation and disappointment. What has become of our friendship? Has he become this totally different person now that we can't sustain one anymore?

In any case, I still believe that the Tarzan I knew still lies within that free spirit. I can't claim to understand what's he's going through, much less to comprehend the "transformation" he's shown. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay as true a friend and i can be, come what may... and hope that he'll come around sometime.

Well... Tarzan, no matter what happens, I'll always regard you as my good friend. I do sincerely wish you all the very best in New York. I hope that you'll manage to find yourself, and have the wisdom and strength to never get lost. I hope you'll discover that life is what you make of it... and that you do have to power to make it great.

And above all, I hope you'll learn that life is worth planning for, and that it isn't as cruel as other people tend to make it out to be.

Farewell, my friend. You'll certainly be missed.

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