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Tarzan and the Big Apple

Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004 @ 11:07 a.m.

I'm gonna hang out with Tarzan for perhaps the last time tonight.

See, he used to be this level-headed, ambitious guy when I first met him. He was serious about his education and his future. But now he's become a somewhat different person that I wonder if I even knew him before.

About a couple of months ago, he decided to cut his financial umbilical cord by coming out to his parents. He didn't want his parents to support him financially anymore. Which is a great step towards independence, of course, but there's only one problem: He has no money nor any job prospects. So he tried really hard to get a job in LA... and somehow ended up as a bouncer at Micky's, one of the clubs in West Hollywood. He was paid peanuts, and worked really weird hours. Basically, he wanted to work there because he wanted to meet people to fool around with, I guess.

And then about 3 weeks ago, he lost interest, and basically slacked off till he got fired. So he was back to having no money again.

The BIGGEST surprise (or rather, shock) was when he told me that he was going to move to New York. Picture this: he could barely scrounge up enough to pay his rent here in LA. What makes he think he's gonna survive in one of the most expensive cities in the world?? I asked him why he wanted to move to New York, and the only answer I got was "because I feel that it's where I need to be".

Call me opinionated, but I think that's just plain stupid. He's completely throwing caution into the wind, and letting "whatever" take care of his future, of where he's going to sleep, and where his next meal is going to come from. Alright, I'm exaggerating, but still... he's in NO financial position to support such a drastic move!

Sure, Frank Sinatra says that if you can make it there, then you can make it anywhere. But he can't even make it here in LA! The cost of living there is going to kill him!

"Most people spend their beautiful years working for their future and let it pass by. I want to spend my beautiful years actually enjoying them," he said. I think that's just so idealistically na�ve. I hope he's not also expecting a Prince to save him from the Evil Witch so that they can live in a beautiful castle with rainbows and chirping birds happily ever after. Jesus.

And then I received a message from him just two days ago, saying that he was flying off to New York in just two days. That's Friday; that's tomorrow! His compulsiveness just irks me so much, for some reason... because y'know... "fools rush in", "haste makes waste", and all that clich� stuff. Which exist for a reason, by the way.

Well, I finally decided that he wasn't going to listen to me, so I've decided to be supportive, just because I'm a friend. It's going to be a farewell get-together with him tonight, so I'm not going to give him the third degree anymore. BUT I am going to tell him not to let his pride get into his way... if he feels like coming back to LA, there's nothing shameful about it. That's important.

I just hope I can control myself and not be so opinionated, especially not on his last night in LA. It's too late. I guess he's just gonna have to learn for himself the hard way. I'm losing a great friend, but I guess I'll just have to deal with it and... well, I'll survive. The bigger thing is, I really do hope that he'll survive too. I really do. And that he'll succeed. But I also hope that he won't get too worn out in the process.

Well... that's up to you, New York, New York.

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