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Grim tango

Saturday, Feb. 24, 2007 @ 10:43 p.m.

Wow, it just keeps getting better and better.

I mentioned last entry that French Fitch had a special visitor all the way from Paris on Valentine's Day week - the very guy whom he cheated on me with.

So apparently, their "love" for each other has grown so strong, that only after seeing each other a grand total of no more than 2 weeks (with huge gaps in between), that guy is prepared to move to the US just to be with him.

All together now: "Awwwwwwwww!"

And you know what the kicker is? If he comes, he'll obviously be staying in French Fitch's gorgeous new house. Which I designed. Which a huge chunk of the construction costs are still on my credit cards. Which contains lots of furniture that not only I chose, but also paid for.

Good ol' me, gave all my love to him, and helped him build his palace... all for someone else to reap. Mind you, I knew he would meet other people eventually, and this would inevitably happen. That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that his new boyfriend is that very same guy that he cheated on me with. Back when he was all apologetic for betraying me, I told him that he can never talk to this guy again. He agreed. Which was obviously a blatant lie. But hey, he also promised me that he would let me go before moving on to somebody else, and he couldn't do that... so I shouldn't be surprised that he can't keep any of his words.

He's romancing the very knife that he used to stab me with. And they're dancing the grim tango over my dead and mutilated body.

And what's even better? He doesn't feel that what he's doing is in any way disrespectful. He's become completely unapologetic. "It's not my fault if people want me", he effectively says.

But then again, why should he care if he's being disrespectful to me? He doesn't need me anymore. So he's taking a shit on my head. Why should he care? He doesn't have to live with it. He just does whatever the hell pleases him. My feelings are no longer worth any consideration whatsoever.

I don't deserve this. I so don't. I absolutely resent the way things turned out. He gets everything, and I get all emotionally damaged.

Whoever said "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all" should be shot. Ignorance is such bliss.

And speaking of sayings, Socrates summed it up best: "The hottest love has the coldest end."

I need to move on. Not because I want to get back at him, but because I deserve to. I'm not gonna be the only person mourning this relationship if he's off gallivanting with his precious hot new victim.

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