Ex-Crushes

Sunday, Jan. 29, 2006 @ 7:45 p.m.

Like everyone else, I've had crushes on plenty of people during my teen years, a majority of whom were celebrities. I look at some of them today and wonder just what the hell I was thinking back then. But just for fun, I'm gonna humiliate myself by sharing five such ex-celebrity crushes. Bear in mind that some of these happened about 10 years ago.

Dolph Lundgren

He was quite the action hero during the late 80's and early 90's, appearing in movies like "Rocky IV" and "Universal Soldier" before fading off into obscurity. I don't know what I saw in him. Probably the whole testosteroney, macho he-man thing. But then again, if I were into the whole macho action-hero thing, I'd have had crushes on people like Jean-Cluade Van Damme (never happened)... or worse, the current governor of California (ick).

Kevin Smith

Most popularly known as Ares, God of War in "Xena: Warrior Princess". I used to follow that series religiously, and always thought that he could wage war on me anytime. I've never gone particularly nuts about guys with facial hair, there was just something sexy about him. Unfortunately, he died in 2002 of a head injury while filming a stunt. A pity, since it was on the set of a Bruce Willis movie, which could have very well been his big Hollywood break.

Anderson Cooper

Anderson Cooper is a reporter with his own show on CNN, "Anderson Cooper 360�". I can't really explain why I had a crush on him. It started in 2001 when he hosted the reality show, "The Mole", and he just stuck on me for some reason beyond my comprehension. He's not exactly a troll, but he's just so different from all the other celebrities that I had a crush on. While searching the net for this picture, I came across a few websites debating his sexuality. It appears that he may be gay, and accidentally outed himself on CNN while debating with Jerry Falwell (*gag*) on the gay marriage issue. Come to think of it, he's always impeccably dressed and well-groomed. Hmmm...

Michael Bergin

As J.D. on "Baywatch", he was the main reason why I actually followed that crappy show every week in the late 90's. For a long time, he was my idea of the ideal man, with his only flaw being his heterosexuality. That was, until he appeared on TV claiming that he had an affair with ex-girlfriend Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy while she was still married to JKF Jr. It wasn't the affair that was the big deal... it was his constant insistance of the affair after Carolyn and JFK Jr. died in the plane crash. I mean... why is that such an important thing for everyone to know? It just seemed like he was promoting his book and trying to get back into the spotlight again. He's still a beautiful man, but my crush on him just dissipated from that point on.

Costas Mandylor

Costas is most known for his role as Kenny Lacos on David E. Kelley's 1992 TV series, "Picket Fences". In 1998, he also had a guest starring role on "Sex & the City" as a monk that Samantha went nuts over. It was probably one of the few times in the series when I wanted Samantha to sleep with her 'victim' as much as she did (I wanted to see him nekkid). Sadly, it never happened. What a waste of a character. On a totally different note, doesn't he look just like a younger Louis Miguel in this picture?

Jim Starr

Better known as Laser on the sports show "American Gladiators", he was my first major celebrity crush. He was the reason I watched that hokey show every week - from the very first season to the last! I couldn't care less about the sports aspect of the show, of course. I just hoped every week that through some wrestling mishap, Laser's spandex outfit might come off. During a couple of later seasons, there was a huge gladiator that joined the cast under the name of Tower. Laser and Tower became close friends, and as you would have imagined, that special friendship became an X-rated fantasy in my mind.

When I look back at some of the people that I've had crushes on, I feel this urge to go back in time and shoot myself. Of course, if any of these men ever knew about it, they'd probably have shot me themselves (and not in a good way).

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