Come back, July!

Monday, Aug. 01, 2005 @ 12:13 p.m.

GAWD, IT'S AUGUST ALREADY!!!

This means that I only have 19 days left till the MCAT. Damn, as long as July was still around, I felt comfort. Now I'm in absolute panic mode. I took another practice exam yesterday. I scored a 6 out of 15 for biological sciences. I'm so going to Harvard.

But at least I feel like I'm getting better each time. The first practice exam I took, I went "Huh!?" on almost every single question. Now, at least I know what the questions are going for, and all I need is tons of brushing up on the academic stuff. I've learned a lot every time I went back to fix my mistakes, but I just wish my improvements would be reflected in my scores... it'd be such an encouragement if my score improved every time I took a practice test. But unfortunately, those things that I learn out of my mistakes never appear twice. So let's say there are 10 topics that I'm weak at. In practice test 1, I get 1, 2, and 3 wrong, and after reviewing, I'm now great at 1, 2 and 3. The next test? No such luck. They're now asking for 4, 5 and 6. Lather, rinse, and repeat for items 7 through 10. The result? I feel as though I've gained a lot, but my score still stays at the same, miserable figure!!

You know what, though? I don't feel the same futility and defeat as I felt after I took the first couple of practice tests anymore. Which is good, I guess. I figure that the best time for me to make wrong answers and subsequently learn from them is now. It doesn't matter if I score miserably for the next 10 practice tests I do; as long as I keep learning from them, I'm making a positive effort towards the real exam. I think.

The frustrating thing is, people usually score the lowest in the verbal reasoning section (usually 9-10), and ace the other two science sections. Me? Completely the opposite. I scored 13 out of 15 in verbal reasoning on my previous practice test, and humiliating single-digit scores for the other two science sections. At the end of the day, medical schools place more importance on those two science sections than the stupid verbal reasoning section.

Once again, I end up getting screwed. All the right elements, but in the wrong places - friggin' gawddamn story of my life.

Sigh. Please, please, let all my efforts be fruitful at the end.

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Come back, July!