Die, stupid people!

Friday, Jul. 22, 2005 @ 7:02 p.m.

It's not a new phenomenon that there is an overwhelming number of stupid people in the world. And just by virtue of their sheer numbers, they manage to drag the entire human race down to a process that actually goes against natural selection, the powerful force that we owe our evolutionary progress to. Think about it - evolution is often summarized as "the survival of the fittest". Hence, a process that goes contrary to evolution implies that the stupid people are flourishing instead, bringing the progression of mankind to a complete and humiliating halt.

No, this rant isn't about evolution vs. creationism. It isn't about religion vs. science. It's about SPAM. And not the kind you make sandwiches with either. I'm talking about annoying, frustrating, unrequested and undeserved solicitations/advertisements that clog up your email box, pissing you off to no end.

What does this have to do with evolution and stupid people? Simple: spam wouldn't exist if not for stupid people... or at least, spam would die off if not for their stupidity. The parties responsible for sending out unwanted Viagra/Cialis/Levitra ads, "cheap" prescription drugs and penis-enlargement schticks have to pay to do so. They pay companies who scour the net for email addresses for their mailing lists. They're not sending spam out just for fun & laughter, peace & joy. It's a business strategy, however intrusive it may be. And who do they get their profits from? That's right! People who are dumb enough to click on those ads! People who somehow NEVER learn, and keep clicking on these ads over and over and over again each time they get them. Just think: if you were a spam-sender, and nobody responded, would you continue spending money for email lists? Of course not - no profit, no business. If you continued to do it despite the absence of responses, then you're unbelieveably stupid, and deserve to lose all your money, starve, drop dead, and die.

Which brings me to the core my rant: it's gotta be because of stupid people who keep clicking on these spam ads that keep them coming. The same stupid people who sue McDonald's for making them fat when nobody pointed a gun against their heads, forcing them to eat there. The same stupid people who voted for a president that chokes on pretzels, thinks that Africa is a country, and can't seem to stop falling off bicycles. The same stupid people who think that the Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt break-up is the most Earth-shattering tragedy of the 21st century. These stupid people should all be relocated to a deserted island, where smart people aren't around to prevent stupid things from happening to them, and where they'll kill each other and die off because of their own stupidity. That's probably how natural selection intended it to be.

It's scary, folks... stupid people are running the world, and there are way too many of them. Forget global warming and war, these people are responsible for the decline of the human race. Even worse: these people are responsible for the smile on your face when your email program tells you "You have 20 new messages", only to turn into a bitter frown when you find out that 18 of them are spam... and the remaining 2 are credit card statements.

Okay, stupid people aren't responsible for my credit card statements, but still... they should all go extinct. Really.

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Die, stupid people!