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Deux ans

Tuesday, Jul. 12, 2005 @ 5:04 p.m.

Today is my second anniversary with French Fitch. Exactly 2 years since our first "date". I'm getting fuzzy feelings thinking about our life together ever since that fateful Saturday night. I really don't want to gush and sound all school-boyish (or girlish) about it, but I can't help it, so... eh, what'cha gonna do about it? :-)

It's been the best and longest relationship in my life, and I'm hoping it'll never end. Sure, we've had our ups and downs just like any couple who's human, but we still had it great. We haven't had any major fights, and we haven't had those break-up-and-make-up incidents at all. And he's still as gorgeous as he was the very first time I saw him. So yep... we had it really great. I have no idea what the future has in store for me with regards to my academic career, but I hope *so* deeply that it won't force us apart.

I had a little breakdown yesterday night. I was studying for the MCAT (which is coming up in 5 short weeks), and all of a sudden, I got overwhelmed (again) by how much material I still had to cover. I couldn't hold back my tears, because hanging directly over my head was the fact that if I didn't get a good score, I'd be forced to attend a medical school (if I get into any at all) that's far away from California, and that'll be the end of our relationship. Sure, there are many medical schools around the LA area that I could apply to, but as sadistic as life has it, they're all top-notch schools that are extremely difficult to get into. If they had a lousy ol' medical school here, I'd gladly attend it... because that way, I'd still have my career (an MD is an MD), and I'd be able to hold on to my relationship with French Fitch. But since that's just a fantasy, I'll HAVE to kick ass in the MCAT. I don't have any other options. It's ridiculously hard, especially since I've never been a straight 'A', 4.0 GPA student (pretty close, but not quite). I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna have to succeed or die trying.

So today is a special day, not only for romantic reasons. It's another kick in my ass, realizing that the only way there could be a 3rd year anniversary is if I got into a medical school in LA. In the meantime, all I can do is study like I've never studied before, and tell French Fitch how much I love him...

...and hope that I'll have plenty more chances to tell him that beyond next year.

Anniversaire heureux, mon amour. Je t'aime plus que jamais.

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