White trash

Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005 @ 12:27 p.m.

(There's a punchline at the end of this story, I promise.)

I've been so busy this week. I had a huge ass midterm on Wednesday, and then I had another 8-page paper due yesterday (Friday). I intended to start of it after I came home from my midterm on Wednesday, but... as a professional procrastinator, I thought I had time to take a night off and relax. And watch TV.

So Thursday came... and it struck me that the paper was due the next day. My classes only ended at 6pm, and by the time I came home, it was nearly 7pm. Of course, intended to jump right into it, but I couldn't really... I had to have dinner (nutrition is IMPORTANT!), and then there was MUST-SEE-TV NIGHT on NBC!!!! Then there was "The Apprentice" at 9! So guess what my pathetic ass did... I started working on the paper at TEN. At night. 8 pages, all still blank by then.

Of course, more panic set in. I worked till about 2 in the morning, and I still only had 5 pages. The remaining 3 pages were the toughest in content. I was tired as hell, and since I didn't have classes till 2pm Friday (which is when this %^ing paper was due), I decided to wake up at 8:30am the next day to finish it.

And that, I did. I was tired as hell all day. I had to leave for class at 1pm, and it was exactly at 1:02pm that I typed in the last sentece. I immediately rushed off to school, but on the way out of the apartment, I decided to take the trash out, since the trash collection place was along the way to my car. Ran ran ran.

So I rushed all the way to campus (no speeding ticket this time, thank gawd)... got a parking spot that was quite far away from my class... and I sprinted all the way. I had only 2 minutes to go.

But I made it! Burst into class, all huffing and puffing, and turned in that %@ing paper right on time. Pleased as punch, I said hello to a few classmates as I took my seat.

Then a classmate sitting next to me asked: "What's that white bag you brought in?" I turned to my right, and lo and behold...

Yon big white bag of wonderful, aromatic trash. Coffee grounds, egg shells, empty tuna cans.

I brought the trash to class. I didn't even notice it in all the hustle and bustle of getting that $%@&ing paper in on time. I couldn't stop laughing at myself.

So yeah... let this be a lesson to all you students out there. Procrastinate and you'll end up with white trash. And all your friends will point at you and laugh.

How dumb was I????

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