No, it's not ironic

Friday, Jan. 28, 2005 @ 5:12 p.m.

Open letter to Alanis Morissette

Dear Ms. Alanis Morrissette,

I was listening to the radio while stuck in traffic on my way back home this evening, when your song "Ironic" came on. I've never listened too closely to the lyrics before... until today. And boy, have I got a thing or two to teach you about the meaning of the word, "ironic".

And that's because none of the situations you described in that song is really ironic. Unfortunate? Yes. Ironic? Not so much. Irony refers to an incongruency between what's expected to happen and what actually happens. A fish that drowns in water - that's ironic. A brain surgeon who dies of a brain complication that's in his field of expertise - that's ironic. A clown who's clinically depressed - that's ironic.

"An old man turned ninety-eight / He won the lottery and died the next day" - That's misfortune, not irony.

"Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly / He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye / He waited his whole damn life to take that flight / And as the plane crashed down he thought, 'Well isn't this nice...'" - That's extremely bad timing, not irony.

"A black fly in your Chardonnay" - That's just a really bad restaurant that I wouldn't return to if I were you, not irony.

"Rain on your wedding day" - That's just how shitty life is. Not irony. In fact, there's nothing unusual about that at all.

"A traffic jam when you're already late" - Nothing ironic about that, you're just a lazy ass. Try waking up earlier.

"A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break" - You have feet. Walk to someplace where there's isn't a sign. That's just retarded, not ironic.

I could go on and on, but you get my point.

So yeah... there's nothing at all ironic in that song. Irony involves what's expected in a situation, not what you want to expect of it. What IS ironic, though, is why you didn't name this song "Moronic". Or why you didn't change your name to "Alanis Moronnette".

On that same note, having your post-1998 career not work out as successfully as you'd expected... sorry to disappoint you, but it's still not irony. An irony would be if you were the greatest artiste in the world, and yet your career stunk. You've got one of those two things. And it's not the "greatest artiste" part. So no, not ironic at all. I'm afraid you just suck. Both your music and your vocabulary.

Have a nice day.

Sincerely,
U. Reek

Navigate

Contact

Credits

No, it's not ironic