The Reel World

Friday, Oct. 15, 2004 @ 11:03 a.m.

So, it's been a little over 2 weeks since I started at Dream College, and I must say that I'm absolutely loving it. This is my first time being in a real full-fledged university... and as intimidating as it seems, it's also very fulfilling.

However, I just can't help but feel disillusioned by what I thought college would feel like. Being the big TV/movie addict that I am, I learned almost everything about the higher educational system through those mediums, especially TV shows like "Beverly Hills 90210", "Buffy" and flicks like "Scream" and all that teen stuff. I've managed to compile a list of things that aren't true to life, but I wish they would have been.

There's no such thing as driving your shiny convertible into a parking spot that's right in front of the building that you need to go to for your next class. First of all, I don't have a shiny convertible, and second of all, getting a parking spot that's at even 2 miles away from your class is harder than getting accepted into the university itself.

There's no upbeat rock music playing as you walk to your next destination between classes. Somehow, the soundtrack just makes everything so much cooler. And no, an iPod doesn't even come close.

There's no fraternity/sorority pledges walking around the campus in embarrassing costumes or get-ups. Yep. No girls walking around in face-cream and bathrobes, no guys bare-chested with embarrassing drawings on their faces. Hazing is cruel, but it just adds so much more entertainment value to the campus population.

There are exams that you really have to study for. I don't know where Felicity found the time to make out with her boyfriend, right up to the minute leading to her finals. There's absolutely no time to spend all weekend surfing or solving crimes (depending on which TV show you drew this impression from). You don't study, you flunk.

There's no token football jock and no token cheerleader that everybody knows. Know how every show must have this jock and blonde cheerleader that everyone just knows and either love or hate them? I don't think that's possible. In a campus population of 40,000, I find it hard to even see the same face twice.

There's no such classes as 'Paranormalisms' or 'Psychic Studies'. Bummer. That means that I won't have the chance to go on a ghost hunt or do completely dumb stuff that I can get college credit for.

There's no weird ancient books in the library. No spell books, no demon compendiums, no prophecies about the end of the world. Just pure academic-related stuff that's plain boring.

You can't switch majors as you please. Can't be an art major this week, and just because a friend of yours seems to have gone mad, switch to a psychology major so that you can "better understand and help the needy". There's tons of paperwork and petitions to file, and the administration would never allow you to test out one flavor every week. And getting into a major isn't as simple as filling out a form. There are tests and interviews that you have to pass, and you can't be stoned during those.

You can't just skip a quarter or semester whenever you want. If you decide that you have to go "find yourself" or do some other clich�s that characters in TV shows do, you can't just leave in the middle of a semester or quarter without notifying the college, because you're gonna get a big fat 'F'. And thereafter lies something called 'academic probation' that doesn't give a shit whether you managed to overcome whatever it was that you thought was more important than getting kicked out of college or not.

Nobody could possibly graduate in 4 years if they party everyday and take all that time off like they do on TV. We'd be looking at a GPA of 0.5, a whole string of 'F's in the transcript, a whole list of courses that would need to be repeated, and probably a huge medical bill from all that alcohol detoxification. And there's no such thing as working hard for the last few episodes of a series or the last few minutes in a movie that would somehow miraculously boost your grades up to a 'B', thereby allowing you to graduate with your fellow castmates just in time for the end credits.

Geez, I watch way too much TV for my own good.

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