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Fun at the post office

Wednesday, Aug. 11, 2004 @ 8:03 p.m.

So there I was, in line at the post office this afternoon when a guy walked in with a kid, presumably his son. That kid was restless. And so very, very darn NOISY.

But anyway, the guy was keeping the kid entertained, and the line we were in was next to a waist-height table on our right. So the guy placed the kid on the counter, and continued to entertain him. I was already pretty annoyed at how amazingly SLOW the post office workers were, and this noisy hyperactive bundle of juvenile hormones was just what I needed.

However, my grumpiness was very soon dispelled when the guy decided to play Superman with his kid. He gestured for the kid to jump down from the table onto his chest, where he'd catch him. And while he was doing this, he asked the kid (very loudly)...

"You wanna come on my chest?"

I snickered, and didn't think much of it at first, and figured that probably nobody else in the post office had their mind in the gutter, where mine was. So the kid jumps down and the guy catches him, and they laugh. The guy goes, "You liked that? You wanna come on my chest again? C'mon, get up again. Get up!"

I could've sworn I heard a few snickers at that point. The kid jumped again.

"Oooh yeahhh! You liked that, didn't ya! You like coming on my chest, huh? Do you?"

I tried my best to hold it in, but my shoulders were shaking uncontrollably at this point, and there were a few distinct suppressed giggles coming from the other people in line. Conveniently, it just so happened that I had a magazine in my hand, so I popped it open, and pretended that I was giggling at something funny in there.

Sadly, all good things had to come to an end, and it was my turn in line. I got my business done, and got out of there pretty soon after. On my way out, I inadvertently caught eyes with the guy, and managed to say a straight-faced "Hi" while I walked past. The kid was on the table again, about to... umm... come on his chest.

*Snicker*

That was my highlight of the day. And hey, if having my mind in the gutter all the time means easy, accessible, round-the-clock entertainment like this from unsuspecting people around me, I'm keeping it in there.

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