7 lonely nights, 1 lonely me

Thursday, Jul. 15, 2004 @ 6:41 p.m.

French Fitch has gone back home to visit his family for about a week, and I'm feeling really empty now.

It's funny how we get accustomed to things so much that we eventually don't even realize their presence anymore. And only when it's suddenly gone do you miss it and crave it. Even if it's something small like a papercut. It's the only time you'll realize how much you need and use that little finger in everything you do, everyday.

So I came home after dropping my boyfriend off at the airport, and it felt really weird. The entire place just seemed so cold and empty. Even when French Fitch isn't away, he won't be home during the daytime, so in that effect, nothing's different about my daytime routine. Still, the place just screamed emptiness.

It's now nearly 7 in the evening, and for the first time since we moved here, I'm going to be spending the next numerous nights alone. Initially, I'd made plans for Louis to come over (he hasn't been to the new place yet), but I cancelled on him just because I'm not exactly in an entertaining mood.

French Fitch is crazy. In a great way. He makes me laugh almost all the time we're together. Just yesterday evening, I was rolling on the floor after he did an incredibly hilarious imitation of Fantasia Barrino. He's such a clown, and the silence that's now pervading this place is such a huge contrast from just 24 hours ago.

Human beings are such morons. We say "I love you" to people we love everyday, but we know what it really means only when you can't say it anymore. Why does it always take a rude awakening for us to treasure and cherish what we have and love? Like 9/11. Remember how everyone, even strangers, were nice and kind to each other in the weeks preceding that tragedy? It's all gone now. We hope that such a catastrophe won't happen again, but unfortunately, things like that simply have to happen before we're all thankful of what we have again. We never learn.

I'm thankful it's just a little trip, and I'll be seeing him again after 7 lonely nights. It's barely been a few hours since I dropped him off, but I miss him terribly already :(

Well, I guess it's just me and Smelly Cat for dinner tonight.

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7 lonely nights, 1 lonely me